Manners, good manners, or etiquette rules are rules of behavior in a defined group. They ensure a harmonious coexistence.
Manners, good manners, or etiquette rules are rules of behavior in a defined group. They provide the framework for one’s own behavior, gestures, facial expressions or clothing and ensure harmonious and respectful intercultural cooperation in a group that comes together locally or socially.
When in Rome do as the Romans do.
old wisdom
Interactions with other people are part of our everyday lives, and how we interact with them directly affects how others view and treat us. This is why good manners are so important.
Do you have good manners?
Here are some questions you should reflect:
- What first impression am I giving?
- Am I a warm person?
- Do people recognize me as respectful?
If you think you can answer these questions yourself, you should also observe whether others share the same opinion. Unfortunately, wa are sometimes very wrong.
Examples of good manners:
In our daily life there are several occasions where we can practice good manners. Here are a few little things that make a big difference:
say thank you
Whenever you get something, you show gratitude with a friendly “thank you”. Thanking the grocery store cashier is a good example that many people unfortunately forgot. They deliver good service, so they want recognition. Say a friendly “thank you” and observe the positive reaction.
Holding a door open
Mobile phones sometimes distract too much from the necessary socialization. So keep your eyes open and if someone is using the same door as you, you can hold the door open so that person can pass first. It’s important to remember that it’s not just men who need to make this gesture. Women are also much more self-confident if they do not step forward. It’s a question of respect, not gender, not age, giving priority to older people as a sign of respect.
May I please?
Asking for permission before interrupting someone is really hard for some people. This can also be a consequence of the excessive presence of electronic media in our everyday lives.
Many speak without making sure any are hearing. This creates the Babylon chaos where numerous people are talking to each other and no one hears what the others are saying. If you wish to interrupt someone on an important subject, the most polite way to do so is to ask, “May I interrupt for a moment?” and, if permission is given, only state your objection.
However, if the interlocutor is determined to take over all the oxygen in the room, “I’m sorry I can’t follow you…” and appearing as disinterested as possible would also be sufficient. This avoids escalations and everyone notices when he or she has spoken too much.
People like to be heard politely and moderately
One should try to keep a harmonious tone for the environment in which one finds oneself. You should neither speak too loudly nor too softly and avoid interrupting others if possible.
Listening is one of the most important characteristics of good manners, and patience provides time to consider whether you are right. In some circles you almost go under because everyone speaks more or louder than the next. But it is also important to know how important it is to be noticed in such a circle. In such circles, conversations are usually ineffective and therefore you can save yourself the trouble and prefer to deal with other equally polite people.
Please tell me
If you ask or want something, the wording should be friendly and always accompanied by a “please”. In this way you build a respectful relationship with the interlocutor. Showing that the person’s time is valued.
Say sorry
If you must interrupt someone while they are speaking, do so politely. When stepping on strangers’ feet or when needing space to get off public transport, a melodious “Excuse me.” accompanied by a smile works wonders. This also avoids conflicts caused by possible misunderstandings.
Greet accordingly
If you greet someone, this should be done according to the relationship to the person. Greetings show that you are present and that the person you greet is important to you.
Badly worded greetings are disastrous. Therefore, it is better to be more formal with a smile than too clumsy. You should also be careful with first names, because if you use the wrong first name, you don’t show your better side.
Proper introducing
Whether in person or on the phone, you speak your own name clearly and well-formulated. It should be borne in mind that in a multicultural society not everyone can understand a name immediately. When calling someone, it is obligatory to introduce yourself first. One should not ask harshly “who is speaking”. This always generates defense.
You first identify yourself and then ask to speak to the person you want. The question “Who am I talking to?” is also somewhat critical and I recommend avoiding it. It’s better to say, “I didn’t get your name.” If you meet a rude person who answers snotty, hang up and call again. At some point it will sort itself out like magic.
Manners like education come from the cradle
This maxim has never been so true. Good manners must be passed on to children at an early age. It is the job of parents (not daycare) to teach children manners and to give due consideration to how we should interact with other people in order to be accepted.
The success of the child in life is also based on this. A child who grows up with kindness and a respectful attitude as a role model will appreciate that behavior in their adulthood as well.
Influence of manners
Good manners directly affect how other people perceive or accept you. When you are educated, other people will see a better picture of you. Therefore, one should also value reading in order to be able to engage in qualitative small talk.
This also gives you better hearing. Otherwise, people instinctively perceive the person as selfish, egocentric, or know-it-all. Dislike and rejection will then follow almost as a natural reaction. If you show a good education in your social environment without knowing it all, you will be accepted more kindly.
Other people’s opinions help us grow, and if we don’t agree, we nod politely as if we understood the opinion. You don’t have to share them, but respect them. In other words, gentleness attracts kindness. By doing good to others, you get good in return.
Good manners also protect against many attacks and allow better defense in arguments. This is because of the respect that comes from treating others with respect and dignity. In professional life, too, experience in sales, training or project management shows that the more polite someone is, the better the results.
I often discuss this with my guests on my beer tours.